I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize