Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
