Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
