I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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