Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
