Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
