come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
