im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
