ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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