it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
