I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
