I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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