I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
