Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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