Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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