At least make sure they are 18
Why
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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