He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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