Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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