I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize