I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
