Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No subtext here. People are naked.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
