Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
