She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize