you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
