At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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