his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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