Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
