yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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