I checked into jail on foursquare
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
