I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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