WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
