North Korea, Best Korea!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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