I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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