i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
