A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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