so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
