I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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