Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
