There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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