talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
