My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
did i walk over a car last night?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize