If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher