Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"