im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?