So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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