wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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