There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I supernannyed him into submission
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
