So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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