God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
