I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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