Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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