I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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