What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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