just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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