i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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