Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
