This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
