every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
