Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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