Did you just see the Batmobile???
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize