At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
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thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
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Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST