halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
