when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with