love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
