what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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